Note to self: slow down

 

So for the last few months, I’ve made a point of writing down one potential blog topic every day. As I read through the list, over and over this theme seems to appear (in my shorthand to myself):

• Need. More. Sleep.
• Need more of a margin in my life because literally every moment is scheduled
• Feeling super overwhelmed and wanting to hide from people (Seriously?!)
• Auditioning for a theater company that I have absolutely no time for… but overcommitment is what I do.

What makes this especially stupid is that I’m a naturopathic doctor. I tell people every day that they need to be more intentional with how much sleep they get, eliminate unnecessary stressors in their lives, learn to say no, identify and prioritize only what’s truly important, make a point to do things that refresh and recharge them on a regular basis, and all that good stuff.

But do I do it myself?

….

Okay, so here’s the thing. I *do* schedule time for meditation and prayer every day… at 5 am. Followed by a workout (the first of two). Which I love, but I mean, I guess that’s a little excessive.

And yeah, maybe most of my day (until I get to the hanging out with people part at the end) is scheduled down to the minute, but I *do* spend time relaxing at the end of every day, so that’s something, right?

And okay, maybe I haven’t consistently gotten enough sleep since I started med school… but… there’s just so much to do!

I’ve always been in danger of this: becoming a human doing instead of a human being. Once when I was living in England, my friend was walking to campus with me, trying rather unsuccessfully to keep up. (Walking slow annoys me. Slow people also annoy me.) She said to me (in a “What Would Jesus Do” sort of way), “You know, Jesus would stop and smell the roses once in awhile!”

It’s really easy for me to go into tunnel-vision mode, and get so focused on the task at hand that I miss the stuff that really matters. So a few years back I incorporated yet another habit into my morning routine: I write down things I’m grateful for and keep them in the gratitude box by my bed. Then every year on the 31st of December, I reread the little slips of paper in the box. It helps me to notice and appreciate all those little things that are really the big things.

Things like cooking a marinated tamarind steak recipe I found on Pinterest with my mom… except I couldn’t find tamarind paste, so I used orange and lime juice, which isn’t the same thing. At all.

Things like watching old black and white movies with my boyfriend under the stars in La Placita every week, and splitting Rocky Road ice cream at intermission (which is always only about 10 minutes into the movie).

Things like watching my 2-year old nephew and my brother bust open water balloons on the roof of our porch, “making it rain.”

Things like taking a break from writing to watch the preening hummingbirds on my porch. (Cutest. Thing. Ever. I can’t stop grinning and giggling every time I see them.)

Things like my every-other-week dinners in downtown Tucson with my old college roommate.

And also, things like sleeping in.

Mid-year resolution: I’m going to sleep more.